How Do I Know if Your Promises Are True?

I dropped you a word from heaven
So that you would have a vision.

I bought you at a price 
Your days aren’t supposed to just go by.

I let you wade in some darkness
So that you would experience My faithfulness.

I planted in you a passion
So that you would pursue Me with abandon.

I hide from you my most intricate plans
Not to make you tip toe, uncertain
But to keep you fully immersed 
In our every moment together. 

I lay before you this narrow path
Because you are meant to be
Set apart. 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/promises/

How to Walk in Love

People, Places, and Perspectives.

During my quiet time today I asked the Lord how to walk in love. Especially when it gets hard. “I need You to enlarge my heart,”I told Him.

And then He said to me, “Any believer who desires to love the way Jesus does needs to first get their own restoration and healing…a wounded heart cannot expand and let others in. A broken arm cannot embrace.”

And that was why Jesus was wounded on the cross…so that we may be healed.

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.

(Holy Bible, New International Version)

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When God Made Me: A Creation’s Search for Purpose

When God set about knitting me together in my mother’s womb (Bible verse to come later); He probably had a smile on His face (verse to come later). It was probably a big smile, and at some other moments a tender one. He had an end in His sovereign mind as to what my destiny looks like, but He was creating a free spirit, an individual with her own quirks and fancies. He was probably shaking His head as he foresaw all the twists and turns and bumps in my journey, some due to others’ decisions, many owing to my own choices. I was His creation but He was bestowing on me a free will. And He knew the extent to which I would exercise that free will.

He knew the exact moment I would respond to the gentle nudge of His Spirit, to invite His Son, my Lord and Savior Jesus to come into my life. And He knew all the fine tuning that would be needed in that new relationship, before I would finally get in optimal sync with His leading and began moving into the purpose for which He has created me. The closer I walk with Him, the clearer the purpose will become – from a vague inkling based on what makes me tick, to the first tentative step that may lead to bolder commitments, and finally to that moment of clarity where the very specific reason for my life comes to light, so clear that there are no more doubts! 

Help me get there sooner, Abba Father – because the safest and most joyful place to be is the center of Your perfect will. Anything less would be a sad compromise that I am not willing to settle for!!!!

Solitude, Silence and Sufficiency

What a bittersweet season this is. And one full of contradictions.

I am feeling melancholic, and yet I feel joy bubbling deep inside of me. 

There’s a sense of lethargy over things that I have tolerated that I do not want to tolerate anymore. At least for now. A sense of loneliness from the disconnection that I feel with people who are supposed to be close to me but:

Talk way more than they listen. Conversations with them leave me feeling like something is wanting, in contrast to feeling uplifted. I am often told I am a good listener, but I am not a martyr. So for this season I am not all ears to some people. By choice. 

Patronize. Giving unsolicited advice, or making remarks consisting of such rudimentary information that they are effectively saying:”I know better than you” – when I was just looking for an intelligent exchange of thoughts among equals. Maybe in their eyes I am not their equal. So I will not even try to be. 

Drain me while expecting me to lift them up with my enthusiasm and appetite for the unconventional. It is as if my adventures are entertainment for them, witnessing things that they would not have dared to attempt themselves, while they pour out their fears and pessimism to me not realizing that even positive people are not immune to negative energy. Or worse, tell me directly or indirectly that I am thinking too big. Planning to move to another country? “Did you just win the lottery?” Or trying to inject practicality into my aspiration towards the apparently impossible. 

So I am feeling disconnected from these people. It feels like…rejection. Although no one rejected me outright. And yet because of this disconnection the power of solitude becomes even more palpable. More glorious. More sufficient than ever. There is so much comfort in being lonely…feeling unheard and not understood, and then knowing that it is in such solitude and aloneness that I appreciate all the unequivocal loyalty that I know I have. Loyalty of God, of my parents, my family, my few lifelong friends. Of God. Who is surely speaking a whole lot to me in this season of seeking His face afresh and His word anew. 

So I am choosing to be silent. After I have expressed my displeasure. My tongue can be unbridled but I will know at the end of the day – if those friendships, relationships – are strong and true enough to withstand my honesty. 

I decided not to be “nice”. And it feels so good…because I am enough. And God is more than enough. 

This post is a response to today’s prompt:

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/solitude/”>Solitude</a> and life. 

Out Into the Fog

Taking a step of faith is like walking into the fog. Faith requires only enough visibility for that next step ahead. And then another step. And another. Yet another. Until the destination is reached.

Faith is not directionless. It has an end in mind…but is not deterred by the absence of specificity and guarantee. All it needs is a blessed assurance that everything will be alright in the end.

It does not seek comfort in the familiarity of all that is behind, nor does it try to grasp what the next gust of wind might bring. It does not have to, because it knows that true safety can only be found in eternity.

And so, faith is at ease even in places where it does not belong.

 This post is a response to today ‘s prompt: Fog

How to Walk in Love

During my quiet time today I asked the Lord how to walk in love. Especially when it gets hard. “I need You to enlarge my heart,”I told Him.

And then He said to me, “Any believer who desires to love the way Jesus does needs to first get their own restoration and healing…a wounded heart cannot expand and let others in. A broken arm cannot embrace.”

And that was why Jesus was wounded on the cross…so that we may be healed.

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.

(Holy Bible, New International Version)

 

 

From How I Feel to Who I Am: A Paradigm Shift (part 2)

This post is part of a series. Read the first part here.

Common sense and years of reading self-help books had told me that the best way to get over the blues was to simply ignore the negative emotions. If I could just steel my heart somehow and do whatever I had to do, they would eventually go off by themselves.

I used to admire people who could go through emotionally wrenching experiences and still be able to stay focused on whatever life required of them. Like my dear friend Sarah, who lost her mother to cancer during a major high school exam but was still able to lock herself in a room and immerse herself in revision, putting her immense sadness on the backburner to emerge the top student.

Me? One argument with a boyfriend and there went all my ability to focus. It still amuses me that I could easily laugh off things that would rattle most people – like the traffic, unsolicited criticism from casual acquaintances, rude salespeople. But when the people I cared about push my buttons, the downward spiral was almost always a given.

The grip of my emotions was just too strong, or maybe it was just me who was weak. Growing up I knew my negative emotions were a stumbling block. Over the years, attempts to understand and discover ways to break the cycle resulted in slow and gradual progress.

As a Christian, I read the Bible, sought advice from church leaders, and prayed. It didn’t occur to me to seek professional advice until two years ago – and that was when I learnt about negative core beliefs.

“You lose your ability to function and focus because a negative core belief you held about yourself was triggered, so the key is to identify this belief, challenge it because it is untrue and then replace it with a positive core belief,” said the wise shrink.

I felt like I had been given the key to the prison door and eagerly did the homework she gave me – jotting down descriptions of the thoughts that ran through my mind whenever I felt down, and soon the thought pattern became clear: that I actually had the belief that I was not worthy! Beneath the strong and confident and go-getting façade that I presented to most of the world I actually I felt I was not worthy: unworthy of unconditional love and acceptance, and that I had always had to prove something to myself.

(to be continued)

 

From How I Feel to Who I Am: A Paradigm Shift

According to my MBTI profile, I am an INFP. And the problem is I scored 80 on the F (for feeler) and only 20 on the T (for thinker). So I used to joke that I didn’t use my head much. 

Joke aside, Myers-Briggs was spot on about me. I am just wired to be driven by emotions, even in school some friends observed that my grades seemed to fluctuate according to my mood! 

But over the years, as my responsibilities in life grew and my aspirations grew along, the yo-yo started to get tiring. My emotions were great when they swinged towards the positive: I had signed up for law school, a marathon and fund raising, beauty pageant, volunteer work, written heartfelt letters, quit a job to pursue my dream career, cooked for my grandma when I felt great about myself and that there was nothing that could stop me. (Right now I am feeling pretty jolly and am contemplating returning to law school, but oops, that’s another subject altogether). 

But when they took a nose dive for whatever reason or trigger – an argument with a loved one, or some disappointment – I got hit pretty hard – words just wouldn’t flow when I had to write, I would want to hide at home and not face the world when there were people I had to meet, and there would be a sense of frustration standing like a wall between me and all that I wanted to do and be, the feeling that “if I could just get over this sadness and heaviness, then my heart would be light again and I could chase after life again.” It was frustrating, exasperating, and depressing – until I got out of it and snap back into my happy self. It felt like a vicious cycle I had little control over – not serious enough to cause a dysfunction, but bad enough to cause a lot of frustration and opportunities. 

Until I finally got a revelation this morning. 

(To be continued) 

God Is In Control

I doubt many of us will be stranded on an island like Robinson Crusoe, at least literally. Figuratively, however, I am sure most of us have felt stranded at one point or another in our lives.

Isolated, lost, alone, with no one to call for help, or so it seemed. Worried, anxious, not knowing what to do, wondering how long our supply will last–be it finances or the emotional strength to tide us over. It might have even felt like there’s no way out — on an island and there’s no passing ship or plane or copter to bring us back to shore.

I do not have much to offer a friend or relative who is stranded, save for moral and emotional support, and these four words: God is in control.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/someone-elses-island/