Peace and Joy

Nestled between
Stimulus and response
An empty space
Where freedom
Is mine to take.

“Bam!” and there goes
My rush hour reverie
Turn around, and
He/she/it is gone
Close my eyes
And that space looms large
“It’s so unfa… Well it’s just a dent”
“I am gonna be la… Well I’m still alive”
“The repair will send me bro… Well thank God I am alive”
In that empty space
I have a large buffet.

Those red lips
That muscular tongue
All set to tear
In the guise of care
“The truth must hurt” she says
But really, every single time?
I smile at her, knowing
In that empty space
She has no say.

Come what may
Red-carpet walks
Or barb-wired fences
Sunny autumns
Or harsh winters
In that empty space…
At the possibilities, I smile.

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Is there really no choice…

But to just bear with a situation that we do not like, but one that we happen to find ourselves in?

A situation we are stuck with not because we do not want change, but perhaps we are limited by health, finances, or safety issues. Or maybe there are some other people that we are responsible for, so we can’t make the change we want.

I guess the first thing to do to start feeling better is to simply accept that in life, there will always be things that fall short of our ideals, sometimes grossly so. So there’s no point wishing that it would be different, no point tearing our hair out wishing people or circumstances will change. Maybe it’s clearer to lay down my thoughts in a list… Since I am penning down my thoughts as they come.

1. Accept the situation
Wishing things are different will only cause frustration, and even bitterness in some cases.

2. Look at the bright side
Things could have been worse!

3. Find something that we can change, even it it’s just a small aspect
Surely even in the midst of the worst trial, there is a comforting ritual, or a minor improvement we can make. Living with insufferable in-laws? Perhaps you can still plan mini getaways with your spouse that you can look forward to. Focus on the reward for being so patient and tolerant.

4. Count our blessings
This sounds like number 2, but I just realized if we can just switch our default thinking to see the donut before the hole… Imperfections in life may just not drive us so crazy anymore.

5. And at times when it really gets too much…and you slip into depression feeling trapped… Remember that we are never trapped in the sense that we are always free to choose our response and perspective to things.

So there goes my spontaneous post, and I am feeling better already. Yes there are things that bug me, that have bugged me for as long as I can remember…and situations involving maddening factors beyond my control. But hey, I think this post is cathartic and empowering, so I will try to stick to this advice I gave myself today.

I actually DO feel better already…so I guess like fine wines, perspectives do get better with time… I love my life, so I will embrace even the battles that I do not feel are worth fighting. Embrace them so that I can constantly refine and even enjoy the process of finding creative and comforting solutions, especially in the midst of unchanging circumstances.