“Freedom is the ability to pause.” – source unknown
And the failure that was me
To stop the primitive in its track.
Too many perceived attacks
Caused me to react
And hearts – including my own
To bleed, and crack.
My claims of love
Empty lip service
How could I love
And let my words
Pour out in torrents
Like a heavy nasty rain
Bringing forth a flood of sadness
I get drowned myself
In the end.
If a hug could tell you, and you, and you, and you
How sorry I am
It would be tight, long, moist with remorse
Resigned to damages done
And an unchangeable past
It would be warm with some strange comfort
That the villain of old…has awakened
I hope she hasn’t taken too much toll.
Those who hurt, hurt others
So they say
I had those inner landmines removed
The amygdala no longer reigns supreme
I seek freedom from me
Now I bow to choice
And it tells me to simply pause.
When I am at a standstill
That’s when I see you
And remember to love you
Despite me and you and everything in between.